Helpless
by SpiritPhanda
Summary: You have a bad homelife in the southern part of the US and think that moving to England will help. You meet Dan and Phil on the plane ride. They end up living in your building and you all become great friends but will you fall for the mysterious brown eyed boy?
1. Chapter 1

It's hard to adjust to a new house, a new town or country for that matter. Moving from the little suburban town in South Carolina, US to London, England is a bit of a change. I have found a flat mate that seems pretty cool from what I learned over Skype that one time. The flat is pretty roomy, apparently it is pretty high up in the building so I'll be climbing a lot of stairs. Yay exercise!

I am finally old enough to move out and away from my parents. I hate them. They hate me. I would love to say it is a love-hate relationship but unfortunately I can't. When I was younger they would call me "a freak of nature" and "a waste of space". It took hours of hard work at both of my jobs to finally be able to get enough money to move here. I have a giant scar on my face from the time dad threw a plate at me while he was doing the dishes and I asked for him to hand me one to eat on. A big burn mark on my hand is a daily reminder of the time he told me to feel the pain he felt when I was born. He put my hand on the iron skillet resting on the stove. They told me once I as 18 years old I was to move out or they would throw me out on the streets. So I saved up.

The plane flight was fun. I had never been on one before. I was never allowed to attend the vacations with my parents. I sat next to the window and spent the 10 and a half hours looking at the world. I had never seen it from this angle. There is so much I could have explored. Landing was the scariest part. I got really scared and grabbed the seat in front of me and the man in the seat turned around and looked at me in a frustrated sense. He was beautiful. He had amazing blue eyes hidden behind thick glasses and skin white and clear, his hair was black as night.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" I gasped.

"Oh it's fine!" He looked mad and then saw my frightened eyes and kind of giggled.

I can't believe I just did that to a complete stranger. He looked back at me. His eyes softened. He was the first British accent I had heard yet. The boy he was sitting next to looked back at me and smirked. His fringe fell into his chocolate eyes. The plane came to a stop and they told us we may get up and get our stuff. The brown eyed boy didn't move. He just kept looking at me. He was gorgeous. I mean the black haired one was cute but this one was different. I had never seen anything like him. I went to school and there were boys in my classes, but none of them were like him. I broke our eye contact and then got up and took my carry on bag and left the plane. I went to the bag pick up waiting for my suitcases. I have no idea how I am going to get them all into a cab. The brown eyed boy stepped next to me. As did the blue eyed boy. I apologised once more for what I did during the landing. He chucked and reassured me that it was okay. I was watching as the suitcases were coming out of the flaps and I see my black bag laying on it's back. Finally. The last one. I reach for it and feel another cold hand touch mine. I look up and meet the brown eyes I've seen before. We both pull it off at the same time so it doesn't have to go around again. We kept eye contact for what felt like forever. I found myself looking at every little detail of his black-coffee coloured eyes. He smiled and his shoulders bobbed up and down while he did a little laugh.

"I'm pretty sure this is mine" he whispered.

I looked down at the name tag. I read "Dan Howell" I recognised the street name on the 'address' section. I let go of the suitcase.

"Sorry" I put my head down and turned away.

I could tell my face was red and I didn't want him to see it. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder I looked up and saw blue eyes underneath a black fringe.

"Lighten up! It's all good!" The blue eyed boy said.

"What's your name?" He continued.

"Y/N" I put my head back down.

I see my bag on the carousel and pick the last one up. I try to find a way to get my small amount of belongings to the front doors. I am struggling immensely. I've taken everything I can from my parents house that I may be able to use. I couldn't take to much or I wouldn't have had time to leave before they left me on the street alone with nothing. I have just made it up to the front doors and the brown eyed boy shows up once more. He asks me where I'm headed. I show him the text from the owner of the flat.

"No way" he exclaimed.

"What?" I look up at him.

"Same building" he goes for a high five. I flinch.

"I'm not gonna hit you" he said grabbing my shoulder and I squeak.

"Um, do you want to share a cab with Phil and I?" He asks almost scared.

Phil must be the blue eyed boys name. I nod.

"I'm Dan" I remember from his name tag but shake his hand anyway.

Dan calls a cab and we try to cram our bags into the trunk and I'm surprised they all fit. We piled into the back seat. I sat in the middle because of my tiny butt. Dan sat on my left and Phil on my right. Phil is sitting close to the window and trying to think of jokes to make about things he see. Dan is sitting closer to me than the window. He's laughing at Phil's jokes. The big smile on his face makes me never want Phil to stop. We pull up to a big building. Dan points to where their flat is. I find which floor my flat is on and I am right over them. They help me bring up all my stuff. They only have a backpack each.

"Where did you guys come from?" I ask.

"We were on tour" Phil replies. I'm taken back.

"Wait what are you touring?" I ask struggling up the stairs.

"We both have YouTube channels and we got to tour the world" says Dan.

That is amazing. The only YouTube I've ever seen was at school. In class by the teachers. It's only ever been educational.

"I've never watched YouTube. I mean I have but only in school" I don't make eye contact I just keep my eyes forward.

"Wait wait wait! You've never watched YouTube?!" Phil is baffled.

"You are coming over as soon as we put your stuff in the house" Dan insisted.

I've never had this many butterflies in my stomach. I don't know these boys. But I feel like I have known these boys for years. If only I have.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay so YouTube is a website where you can go and watch people embarrass themselves" Phil said.

"Okay, I've got that much" I smiled.

He started typing quickly.

"So what kind of stuff do you like?" Dan asked me scooting closer to me.

"Um. I don't know what I like" I am getting kind of nervous.

I've never had the option of making any sort of decision and I don't know what I like. I have always loved the idea of being able to sing or dance or maybe play an instrument.

"Um, maybe music" I stumble on my words.

"Great, what kind?" Phil asked innocently

"I don't know authors" I am getting nervous.

"I'm going to get some food, want any?" Dan got off the couch.

I haven't eaten in days. I hate eating especially around people. Of course not having the money to eat is not exactly helping. I have used every pound to buy a house here. The word food welcomes me but also makes me sick.

"No. I'm fine. Where is the bathroom though?" You ask quietly

"Down the hall" Phil pointed, not taking his eyes off the laptop.

I run to the bathroom hoping to be able to sit in silence for a minute. I sit with the toilet seat down and put my elbows on my knees and the memories come flooding back. The fights. The violence. Why had I ever thought that by moving I could escape them. They will always be burned into my brain. The room starts to spin. This has happened once before. I'm screaming. I feel a wave of fear overcome my body. I feel short of breath. Pain is shooting up and down my body. My heart is beating out of my chest.

 ***Dans POV***

I don't understand why she won't eat. There is no way she isn't hungry after 11 hours. I go ahead and make her a bowl of cereal. A scream pierced the ears of Phil and I. We both run towards the bathroom. It feels wrong to go in. But I do. She is on the floor crying. She is gasping for air. Screaming and crying. She is curled up in a ball. I pick her up bridal style and run outside. Phil is calling 999. They are there and we get inside the ambulance with her. She is reaching for something. She grabs the first thing she finds. My hand. The doctor said she had a panic attack. They ask me all these questions about her but I know nothing. We just met. She is calmed down. I hope she will be okay. Now she is okay to come home. She cries the whole way there. Telling us she is sorry for ruining our evening. We have to keep telling her she is fine. There is no need for her to think like that. We get home and her soggy cereal is spread all over the floor. I must have dropped it when I heard her scream. She wants us to pick up the evening where we left off. We get back on YouTube. She became intrigued by everything on it. She stumbled upon Zoellas account and fell in love. I walked over and sat next to her.

"This girl is so funny!" She exclaimed. Her eyes were the eyes of saucers. She has never seen her.

"You know that I know her right?" I tease

"No way?!" She is giddy

"Yep. You should meet her!" I bragged

She is ecstatic. She is falling in love with YouTube just like I did. She was at our house all afternoon and ended up falling asleep on the couch. It would be rude to wake her up. So I left her.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3:

*Y/N POV*

I am awake but I don't open my eyes. I'm too scared to. I don't remember where I am. I've slept in an unfamiliar place before. I sat straight up last time. I will never do that again. Last time I accidentally knocked over his beer bottles and it shattered. It could have broken into a few big pieces. But not now. It shattered. Thousands of little pieces in a pile on the floor. I was at my drunken uncles house. I had fallen asleep on the couch. He is furious. He grabs the roots of my hair and throws me into the shards. The memory fades. I her someone in the next room. They are whistling a tune I've never heard before.

"Is that my cereal?" I hear a British voice say.

It's Dan!

A mumble agrees with him. It's Phil. I've never been so relieved. I sit up slowly. They are in the kitchen and I'm hoping I can sneak out without them seeing me. I get up and grab my bag. I tiptoe to the door and a floorboard creeks.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Dan says standing in the hall with his eyes burning my soul.

I stop in my tracks and turn on my heels. I meet the blue and brown eyed I may yesterday. I shrugged

"It's 1 o'clock. We figured you would be eating breakf- lunch with us" Phil says.

"Um. Well I was just hoping to avoid any noise or anything that would put a or something that would effect your weekend" I stuttered.

They looked at each other and smiled.

"We have a proposal" Dan exclaimed, raising his finger into the air.

"You eat with us and then we will go over to your flat and help you move in" Phil declared.

Is it rude to eat at someone's house? I'm not exactly social.

"Um, okay why not. No harm in food!" I accept their offer.

We sit down at a white table with colourful chairs and enjoy a big, cheesy pizza. We are ready to head to my flat. It took my entire life savings to buy this flat. It's my dream home. I'm kind of nervous. Ive never real experienced any guests over in my house before. We are walking down the stairs and Phil is behind me in the stairwell. I soon feel the pressure of a body on my back bearing down on me with all its weight. I stumble under the pressure. Phil is falling down the stairs. I realise Dan is right in front of me. I soon fell my body weight, along with Phils, crush him. I gasp. We are at the bottom of the stairwell and I soon find that I am laying on top of Dan. Phil has landed next to us he is hysterical, he is rolling around on the floor and can not stop laughing. Dan on the other hand has guided his eyes to mine. I nice every little detail in the chocolate of his orbs. We made eye contact for what felt like forever. I never wanted this moment to end. I hear Phils cackle end. Dan breaks our eye contact, unfortunately. Dan rests his hands on my waist and lifts me off his body so he can stand up. I blush. I feel the heat in my face rise. Dan smiled at me and winked. Dang it. I can't wink.

"So I tripped on my own foot" Phil turned red and smiled a huge smile.

"Nooooooooooooo" Dan exaggerated.

We chuckled and walked into the front door for my new flat. I was supposed to come back last night and unpack but that obviously didn't happen. I don't have that much stuff leftover from my parents house.

"Where is the rest of the stuff?" Dan asked looking around my room.

"Um. I don't have anymore" I said almost matter of factly.

I looked down at my single cardboard box consisting of a lamp, a broken soccer trophy, a book or two, and a small jewellery box. Dan and Phil look at each other in a worried state.

"You're joking right?" Phil says with a small smile.

"Not really. My flat mate said that she was a bed here so I figured I was set" I said

I pick up the lamp and put it next to the bed. I plug it in and flip the switch. The room illuminated. I put all the things in my box on the provided bed side table. I put my hand on my hips in an accomplished way.

"Ok. What now?" I ask with a smile

"Ok we need to talk" Dan said extending his hand out to me.

I take it. Phil, Dan, and I walk back upstairs and they walk into the living room. We all sit on the couch. Dan on my left and Phil on my right.

"Tell us about yourself" Phil said putting his feet on the poof.

Oh no. They know. They found out. I'm so stupid. I let them see through me. I feel tears welling up inside my eyes. I look down and try not to make any eye contact with either of them. I look forward and feel a tear roll down my cheek. A thumb comes from my left and wipe it away. Ok. You cant tell them. They will judge you. Call you weak. Laugh at you.

"You can tell us anything" Dan sat up with his face closer to yours.

You look up at him and feel your face burning and you just lose it. Tears stream down your face and make puddles on your shirt. Dan pulls your head into the crook of his neck. You immediately feel his shirt soak up your tears. Phil is behind you rubbing your back. You lay in this position for what felt like hours. You love it but hate it at the same time. Ok, you think you can tell them now. You lift your head and turn yourself around so you can see both of them.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to" Phil says with his hand on your shoulder.

"You have to promise not to treat me any different because of my stupid sob story" I looked at both of them.

Their fringes bounce as they nod simultaneously. I giggle a little.

"Ok so when I was about hmm, I don't know, negative 9 moths old, my parents found out about me. They were the opposite of happy. They didn't put me up for adoption and I don't know why, I think it would have been better" I only begin.

"I'm so sorry my darling" Dan says.

Phil has tears in his eyes. We share a group hug.

"If you don't want me to continue I won't" I say to both of them.

"I would love it if you would. But only if you feel comfortable" Phil looked kind of scared and guilty.

I nod.

"I am going to save you the gory details of my parents abusive ways. Anyway, um, this burn scar on my hand, its from one time when my father got mad and put my hand on the cast iron skillet. This one on my jawline is from when he threw a plate at me when I asked for one. Not to mention the words mother and him said. Mother never hurt me physically but verbally abused me all day, everyday. School was my escape. Mostly art class. My art helped me get away from my parents" I feel the tears forming small waterfalls on my face.

I can feel their eyes on my scars. I use my non-scared hand to wipe away tears. Dan brushes his fingertips over the bumpy muscle and skin on my hand.

"If I could take back everything that happened to you, I would. If I could help you and I'd your scars. I wouldn't have to think twice" Dans soft breath brushes my cheeks as he soothes me.

"These are your battle scars. You're proving just how brave and strong you really are" Phil cooed as he brushed my hand.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4:

 ***Dans POV***

She is scared, hurt, and

somehow is still standing strong. I think that she might be one of the bravest people I know. I don't understand how she is able to stand this. I just want to fix this for her. She is just so funny and she is so deserving of something to make her happy, I really think I can do that for her. I can't help but wonder why anyone would do this to her, or anyone for that matter. She didn't deserve to have this done to her. I sit staring at her. She is so beautiful, her and all her scars. I wonder if she ever had a boyfriend in America. There is no way she hasn't dated. Well, I guess you don't have to be first, you just have to make it into the race...

 ***Phil's POV***

I think Dan likes her. I mean his eyes are the size of saucers. I mean she is very beautiful and if she wasn't obviously hitting on Dan just as much as he was with her I might think I have a change with her. Her background is terrible. It terrifies me how this is part of the world. Her scars call for my help. Dan and I know what we need to do. We sit and listen to her talk. She is crying but there isn't a break in her voice. She is being strong for us. She doesn't need to be. I like her just the way she is.

 ***Y/N POV***

They have been sitting here with me for around an hour. We just talked about me and alllllllllllll my issues. I feel kind of vulnerable. They know me better then anyone ever has.

"I, um, have never really told anyone about my home life" I stutter.

"Well I'm glad you trust us that much" dan puts his hand on my shoulder.

Phil's eyes wander to Dan's hand and stares intensely at it. I look into Phil's eyes and out my head on his shoulder. He exhales almost in relief. I lift my head from his shoulder and kiss his cheek. I look at him and he has a huge smile on his face. I look at Dan and give him a peck on the cheek as well, he looked sad.

"Thank you for letting me talk" I stutter, keeping my head down.

"You need to know that we are here to talk anytime" Phil says.

"I should probably go back to my flat now" I say as I stand up.

I look at the clock and see that it is almost 9 o'clock.

"Ok, well let us know if you need to talk or anything" Dan said as they both stood up.

"I will" I say.

I give them hugs and they say goodbye as I walk out the door. I walk down the stairs and put my key in the door and my flat make is sitting n the couch. She has tear stains running down her face, she is on the phone. She hangs up. I walkover to her and ask her if everything is ok. Her mother has died and she just found out. We sit and I comfort her for a while and then she looks at me and tells me she can't take care of her half of the rent anymore because she is moving to Brighton.

"That's ok thanks ok" I say I rub her shoulder.

"I'm so glad you are going to be" she said.

"I've got to start packing up my stuff, and um call the landlord. I'm so sorry that you just moved in and now you have to move out. Unless you can pay the rent by yourself" she said as she walked away.

"When are you leaving?" I ask.

"Um as soon as possible. I'm gonna go sign the paperwork tomorrow and we have to be out by tomorrow afternoon" she said.

I nod. There is no way I can pay for this place by myself. This flatmate actually payed for more than half of my the rent. She knew my predicament and understood what I am going through. So now that she can't pay for her part I don't know what I will do. I give her a hug and tell her not to worry and to feel better.

I go to my room and put all, like 8 of my things in the cardboard box I used a couple days ago. I just lay down on my mattress and nod off to sleep. Now what will I do? How will I survive? I have no money, I spent it all on the rent for this flat. Will I have t move back home? They won't take me back in. Even if they did the plane fair is too much. I dream that I am homeless on the streets of London, its not so bad. Of course winter is coming and ill freeze to death out there. People do it all the time. I can make it work.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 3:

*Y/N POV*

I am awake but I don't open my eyes. I'm too scared to. I don't remember where I am. I've slept in an unfamiliar place before. I sat straight up last time. I will never do that again. Last time I accidentally knocked over his beer bottles and it shattered. It could have broken into a few big pieces. But not now. It shattered. Thousands of little pieces in a pile on the floor. I was at my drunken uncles house. I had fallen asleep on the couch. He is furious. He grabs the roots of my hair and throws me into the shards. The memory fades. I her someone in the next room. They are whistling a tune I've never heard before.

"Is that my cereal?" I hear a British voice say.

It's Dan!

A mumble agrees with him. It's Phil. I've never been so relieved. I sit up slowly. They are in the kitchen and I'm hoping I can sneak out without them seeing me. I get up and grab my bag. I tiptoe to the door and a floorboard creeks.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Dan says standing in the hall with his eyes burning my soul.

I stop in my tracks and turn on my heels. I meet the blue and brown eyed I may yesterday. I shrugged

"It's 1 o'clock. We figured you would be eating breakf- lunch with us" Phil says.

"Um. Well I was just hoping to avoid any noise or anything that would put a or something that would effect your weekend" I stuttered.

They looked at each other and smiled.

"We have a proposal" Dan exclaimed, raising his finger into the air.

"You eat with us and then we will go over to your flat and help you move in" Phil declared.

Is it rude to eat at someone's house? I'm not exactly social.

"Um, okay why not. No harm in food!" I accept their offer.

We sit down at a white table with colourful chairs and enjoy a big, cheesy pizza. We are ready to head to my flat. It took my entire life savings to buy this flat. It's my dream home. I'm kind of nervous. Ive never real experienced any guests over in my house before. We are walking down the stairs and Phil is behind me in the stairwell. I soon feel the pressure of a body on my back bearing down on me with all its weight. I stumble under the pressure. Phil is falling down the stairs. I realise Dan is right in front of me. I soon fell my body weight, along with Phils, crush him. I gasp. We are at the bottom of the stairwell and I soon find that I am laying on top of Dan. Phil has landed next to us he is hysterical, he is rolling around on the floor and can not stop laughing. Dan on the other hand has guided his eyes to mine. I nice every little detail in the chocolate of his orbs. We made eye contact for what felt like forever. I never wanted this moment to end. I hear Phils cackle end. Dan breaks our eye contact, unfortunately. Dan rests his hands on my waist and lifts me off his body so he can stand up. I blush. I feel the heat in my face rise. Dan smiled at me and winked. Dang it. I can't wink.

"So I tripped on my own foot" Phil turned red and smiled a huge smile.

"Nooooooooooooo" Dan exaggerated.

We chuckled and walked into the front door for my new flat. I was supposed to come back last night and unpack but that obviously didn't happen. I don't have that much stuff leftover from my parents house.

"Where is the rest of the stuff?" Dan asked looking around my room.

"Um. I don't have anymore" I said almost matter of factly.

I looked down at my single cardboard box consisting of a lamp, a broken soccer trophy, a book or two, and a small jewellery box. Dan and Phil look at each other in a worried state.

"You're joking right?" Phil says with a small smile.

"Not really. My flat mate said that she was a bed here so I figured I was set" I said

I pick up the lamp and put it next to the bed. I plug it in and flip the switch. The room illuminated. I put all the things in my box on the provided bed side table. I put my hand on my hips in an accomplished way.

"Ok. What now?" I ask with a smile

"Ok we need to talk" Dan said extending his hand out to me.

I take it. Phil, Dan, and I walk back upstairs and they walk into the living room. We all sit on the couch. Dan on my left and Phil on my right.

"Tell us about yourself" Phil said putting his feet on the poof.

Oh no. They know. They found out. I'm so stupid. I let them see through me. I feel tears welling up inside my eyes. I look down and try not to make any eye contact with either of them. I look forward and feel a tear roll down my cheek. A thumb comes from my left and wipe it away. Ok. You cant tell them. They will judge you. Call you weak. Laugh at you.

"You can tell us anything" Dan sat up with his face closer to yours.

You look up at him and feel your face burning and you just lose it. Tears stream down your face and make puddles on your shirt. Dan pulls your head into the crook of his neck. You immediately feel his shirt soak up your tears. Phil is behind you rubbing your back. You lay in this position for what felt like hours. You love it but hate it at the same time. Ok, you think you can tell them now. You lift your head and turn yourself around so you can see both of them.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to" Phil says with his hand on your shoulder.

"You have to promise not to treat me any different because of my stupid sob story" I looked at both of them.

Their fringes bounce as they nod simultaneously. I giggle a little.

"Ok so when I was about hmm, I don't know, negative 9 moths old, my parents found out about me. They were the opposite of happy. They didn't put me up for adoption and I don't know why, I think it would have been better" I only begin.

"I'm so sorry my darling" Dan says.

Phil has tears in his eyes. We share a group hug.

"If you don't want me to continue I won't" I say to both of them.

"I would love it if you would. But only if you feel comfortable" Phil looked kind of scared and guilty.

I nod.

"I am going to save you the gory details of my parents abusive ways. Anyway, um, this burn scar on my hand, its from one time when my father got mad and put my hand on the cast iron skillet. This one on my jawline is from when he threw a plate at me when I asked for one. Not to mention the words mother and him said. Mother never hurt me physically but verbally abused me all day, everyday. School was my escape. Mostly art class. My art helped me get away from my parents" I feel the tears forming small waterfalls on my face.

I can feel their eyes on my scars. I use my non-scared hand to wipe away tears. Dan brushes his fingertips over the bumpy muscle and skin on my hand.

"If I could take back everything that happened to you, I would. If I could help you and I'd your scars. I wouldn't have to think twice" Dans soft breath brushes my cheeks as he soothes me.

"These are your battle scars. You're proving just how brave and strong you really are" Phil cooed as he brushed my hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

I am staring at the door I used to have a key to. The door I never slammed out of anger. The door that I never used to hide myself. I never really think about being homeless. But now I am. I hug my flatmate one more time before she gets in a cab and drives out of my life. It's summer so it won't be cold outside at night. At least for now. I have my cardboard box and a warm, fuzzy jacket my flatmate gave me, well, ex-flatmate. I go out on to the street and find a nice park bench to sit on. I rest my box next to me and sit looking at the trees and the sky. I look until I realise it's becoming dark. I pull out the jacket and realise that the hood is removable. So I take off the hood and use it as a pillow. I use the jacket as a blanket but then realise anyone could just come by and steal my things out of my box. The jacket is ginormous so I decided to stuff the most important things, like my jewellery box and my books, inside my jacket. Then I rest the box in my lap and lay my body over the top and fall asleep.

I wake up as the sun rises and look down to the relief of all my things right where they were before. I put my books and jewellery box back into the cardboard box and then I go on a trek to find a job. I figured that I could use some money to possibly buy a small house or at least a small hotel room. My job search is going a bit slow. So I go to the local library and look up places that are hiring. I see a Starbucks, a Game store, and some other places. I think in Starbucks you have to be able to make good coffee so thats off the table. The game store it is. I walk to where it is and walk in. I look around and see how extravagant it is. I go up to the front desk and ask where I can apply for the job. They say I can come in tomorrow around 10. Perfect. My schedule is completely empty anyways.

I walk back to the library and research a London Pawn shop. They have one and it is 4 blocks away. Ok. I grab my box and look into it. I can get rid of this lamp and soccer trophy for some money. The soccer trophy won't do much but it may get me an extra dollar. I see the giant gold letters spelling the name of the shop. These things are so hard to get rid of, the trophy was from my best friends when I was a kid and my only family. The lamp was really only for my room but I don't exactly have one of those anymore. I walk in and see a bunch of glass cases holding valuable items and items I could find in a dumpster. I walk up to a man behind a case and ask him how much I could get for the lamp. He looks at it up and down and offers me around 30 to 40 pounds. It's better than nothing. I take it and they take the trophy which they kindly gave me 15 pounds for after hearing my sob story. I leave with 50 pounds in cash and walk to get a job at the game store.

They interview me and they see that I have no resumé. They aren't sure if they can accept me because all I have is a high school diploma. They ask me for a phone number. I don't have one. They asked for an email. I don't have one. An address. I don't have one. I ask them for a date when I can come in and see if I got the job. They decide to go ahead and let me have the job unless they have someone else come in. They have been hiring for months but have never found anyone. They tell me that I can come in tomorrow. This is my first job and I'm excited. I use the money I got for the lamp to buy a backpack so I can carry my books and jewellery box. I find my way to the park bench I slept on last night. I sit there and look at the stars. Looking at the couples walking around holding hands. Watching squirrels chase each other up trees. Birds twirling around each other in the sky. Robins snuggle in their nests with their babies. Love has infected nature and somehow I missed the boat. I have never felt or been in love. I seem to scare boys away with my scars. One time in my freshman year I had a crush on a boy and he found out. He told everyone I liked him and I started getting made fun of. I became a recluse and lost all 3 of my friends. It's getting dark again. I turn the backpack to my front and sleep with it on my chest.

I wake up on the cold bench. I realise the sun is finally rising and I sit to look at the sunrise. It's beautiful. I but my backpack on my back and walk towards the game store. I walk in and a little bell goes off above my head. The manager comes in and tells me to head to the back and put on the extra uniform they have. I put on the uniform and walk out into the main part of the store. The store is busy and full. I have not been taught how to work the cash registers or anything so I get told I am in charge of "floor design". That basically means I have to make it look nice and not like trash. I can't do that. I pull things way back in the shelves forward so you can see them. I quite enjoy this. I soon learn how to properly handle the cash register, and how to handle deliveries of new games and things.

I become friends with someone I work with. Her name is Sammy. She's pretty cool but she seems to always be injured in some way. It's fine though, sometimes she lets me ride her little knee-scooter-thing. We have begun to hang out. She has never asked about my personal life, which I like. I get comfortable around her, I've only felt this way around Dan and Phil. We hang out, never somewhere expensive. She knows that this job is the only things keeping me afloat. She picks me up from work and we go on little, priceless adventures. It becomes the highlight of everyday. She buys me lunch a lot and we say she "keeps me alive" she doesn't know that she probably is right. I love her to death. I trust her and we find one day we are in deep conversation and I slowly start telling her about my old life. She comforts me while I cry in the middle of Panera Bread. She knows everything now and I can't help but feel a weight off of my shoulders.

I have been working here for maybe a month now and I'm content. It's all twisted around again when I hear the beep above the door of the store ring. No different than normal. Now two important individuals walk through the door.


End file.
